shymarie

"One year ago, the mountain ahead of us seemed so high.
Now, as I look down from a plateau, I marvel at the beauty I didn't expect to see.

One year ago, I was so scared about what the future held for you.
Your problems only had a name, now I see only your precious face.

One year ago, I didn't know how blue your eyes would be.
Now, they sparkle and dance back at me as we adore each other.

One year ago, I listed my requests to God about your birth, health, everything.....
Now, I smile as I realize that He answered every single one, big and small.

One year ago, 'normal' life seemed a thing of the past.
But this summer, we came 'full circle' as we introduced you to our summer fun.

One year ago, our family wasn't complete.
Now, your chubby little hands hold ours.

One year ago, they told me that you might not be okay.
Now, I proclaim to the world that you are just perfect.

One year ago, you had a name but we didn't know who you were....
Now, I watch in awe as you grow and touch lives just by being you.

One year ago, I couldn't imagine this day. I could hardly imagine how we would get
through that first week. Now, we're here and I'm so glad we're not back there.

One year ago, I had no earthly idea how hard this year would be.
Now, I thank God for carrying me while I carried you. We made it, sweet baby."

Since my daughter's first birthday just passed, I found that fitting to post. I'm not sure where it came from (it was sent to me by my mother), but it fits our lives perfectly. I bawled like a baby when I read it. I love how it says "we made it, sweet baby". We have a long journey ahead, but if we can make it through those first few weeks of finding out her diagnosis, we can make it through anything.

She had her nutrition appointment yesterday and her granny, aunt and cousin came along (along with her usual fan posse -- me, Mike and Kalen). They weighed her and got 16 pounds 2 ounces which is 7 ounces lighter than what her pediatrician office weighed her at, so that was hard to take. She was also measured as not quite as long, but I forgot the exact measurement. Truthfully I think I tried zoning out after seeing she weighed less. I'm sure it's just the difference in the scales, but darnit 7 ounces a lot for her.

We found out she is off the scale for "normal" growth. No more 3rd percentile. The dietitian said we won't even think about a g-tube until we exhaust every other option. Right now she's on a higher calorie diet and then we'll be weighing her again in 7 weeks. I feel a bit discouraged, though, because she isn't taking to table foods all that well. She's so used to her baby food and tries to swallow it down before chewing. She also doesn't like feeding herself. If I put food on her tray, she either swipes it off onto the floor or she picks up each piece and tosses it. I also hate how guilty I feel for pumping my baby full of fattening foods. Who sticks a tablespoon of butter in their baby's oatmeal?! I know it's necessary, but man do I struggle with it.

I'm praying with a bit more practice she'll get the hang of it. She'll be seeing genetics next month so I'm curious what they'll have to say.

I got all my school shopping done for Kalen. Now to just sit back and wait for school to start. I'm excited for him. :)